Now that psychological language is being made available to the general public (thanks to social media), I see a lot of us talking more freely about therapy, which is great. Over the past few years, I have also noticed another trend.
Therapy has been added to what I like to call “The War of Wokeness.”
We gauge if someone is “healing” based on what they can tell us about themselves psychologically. I especially hear this from Black women who are swimming in frustration about their male counterparts. There is this really popular belief flooding the interwebs that Black men just won’t do the work, because they won’t go to therapy. I absolutely empathize with that feeling, because I know that Black women have historically over-provided emotional labor in relationships, self-included. I would like to submit to us that therapy is not the only way to gauge if a partner is committed to his own personal growth or the growth of their romantic partnerships.
Before I say another word, I am a person who has greatly benefited from the help of multiple therapists. I am currently in group therapy, and I am on the waitlist for one-on-one therapy. Coming out of grief has left me in a unique space, and I can totally see how having a therapist will help me manage my mental health around starting over again. I love therapy. I have a psychology degree, for crying out loud. I am not anti-psychology by any means; and I look at it as an extremely beneficial social science that provides us with perspective. I have my critiques, based on the cis-white, male-centered theories that make up a lot of what we have accepted as modern psychology, but I’d be a fool to throw the baby out with the bathwater.
I have been in religious communities where they fight the same war, but it’s about following a certain sacred text to the letter. I’ve been in “conscious” communities that focus on people “doing the work,” and judging those caught up in the matrix based on their inability to understand Universal Law or use energy work to their benefit. I’ve been in certain spiritual communities that pride themselves on being better than the “other groups,” and judge people based on how they tap into their superpowers, communicate with their spirit guides and how well they engage with plant medicine.
I have seen people from each one of these communities work extremely hard to prove that their way of doing things is “so much better” than everyone else’s. I’ve seen many groups go so far as to promote the idea that if a person isn’t coming into their awakening in the ways that we believe they should, then they are less woke, less likely to make it to heaven, less spiritual, less healed, less worthy, etc. As a student of humanity, I find our innately competitive nature extremely fascinating.
There is something in us that just needs to flex. It’s not a bad thing. I love a good flex just as much as the next person. I won’t lie. I’ve participated in it. I have felt the need to be more right than someone else. More enlightened than the next nigga. More spiritually in tune than our paler counterparts. Just better, all around. The point is, as humans, we all have ego. And ego is here to help us safely navigate this world around us. I don’t see the ego as something that needs to be killed off, as some would. It is my belief that ego helps us “know” ourselves; it is what helps us to individuate. I appreciate how ego allows us to back away from the beautiful confusion of omnipresent oneness so that we can make sense of the 3D world around us.
After taking the time to study many different teachings and teachers up close, I have found there are many ways to commune with Source energy. I see no need to convert anyone and I am grateful for everything that I’ve learned from everyone. Instead, I do my best to present myself as authentically as I can and apply as many of the beautiful lessons I’ve learned so that I can speak to people in a language that they understand. For me, it isn’t about being the most right; it is about me using my full arsenal to help people tap into what’s right for them.
As idealistic as it sounds, I usually lean more towards the belief that deep down, we all know what is necessary for us. If someone ends up in my space in search of guidance, I assume it is because a part of them caught a whiff of a part of me that smelled like home. I remind myself often that I need not join in the battle against any specific system or any individual person, and it’s not always easy considering that I was raised by two military parents. Most of my fight is against the unhelpful thoughts that I attach myself to. The best strategy for a person like me is to make myself available for those that I came to this planet to be of service to.
